"I hate church."

You’ve got to get your “British” humor hat on for this.

And one of the poignant comments by AnneDroid from the original post:

Church isn’t always easy, either for the congregation or the minister. We would all rather stay in bed sometimes, or go elsewhere. But we’re not to forsake meeting together – but just work to make it not phoney/triumphalist/false/legalistic/pompous/boring/trite/cringey etc… By just showing up and being there we support one another as a mad dysfunctional-but-fun family and help recharge our batteries for another week as a misunderstood minority in The World.

From The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus.

Top 10 Theses NOT approved at IWS

Top 10 Theses NOT approved at IWS:

(by Sterling Allen)
1. Develop a series of hand signals, in the style of LDS Tabernacle rites, for the FBC of Kilgore.

2. Understanding the underlying theology of showtunes.

3. Discovering the beauty of liturgical dance through the movement of “Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”

4. Developing a theory and praxis for projector balancing using denominational resources (i.e. hymnals and Holy Bibles).

5. The Naked Truth: Developing liturgical resources for the Happy Acres Naturalist Recreation Center All-Faith Chapel.

6. Alternate elements for Holy Eucharist: Spice Up the Feast with Nacho flavor Doritos and Zima.

7. Develop, create, and distribute “Vabulous”, the stylish couture of Papal Garments for Emerging Worship at Mars Hill Church, Seattle.

8. Ghetto Chant: An inspired, emerging, worship tradition combining High Anglican chant with the stylish beats and rhymes of Eminem and Snoop Dogg.

9. Worship: Ain’t no need to change a thing… (100 pages of affirmations for the Quaker congregation of Kalamazoo, Michigan).

10. We’ll Shout and Give Him Glory: The silent praises of an all mime congregation!!!!

Top 10 hymn-based devotional guides for REAL WORLD tasks

Top 10 hymn-based devotional guides for REAL WORLD tasks.
by Sterling Allen, Josh Melson, and Clayton Faulkner

10. As the Deer: A Hunter’s Guide to Game Population Reduction and Hymnody

9. More Precious Than Silver: A Guide to Worship Renewal for Pawn Shop Owners

8. Silence, Frenzied, Unclean Spirit: A Christian Guide to Dealing with Road Rage

7. In the Garden: How to Pull the Weeds Out of Your Spiritual Life

6. Shout to the North: How Yodeling Can Enhance Your Praise Band

5. Light the Fire Again: Devotions for Emerging Arsonists

4. Open the Eyes of My Heart: A Novice Guide to AT HOME Lasix™ Surgury

3. I Need the Every Hour: One Hundred and One Tasty Recipes for Communion Bread

2. A Charge to Keep Have I: Credit Card Disputes and Resolutions

1. Pass it On: Avoiding the h1n1 Virus during Holy Communion